Because That Is How We Are
by Lacrimosa Cruentus Luna
Summary: Kukai started the whole thing by making fun of Utau. Rima and Nagihiko continued it by pulling a trick on Ikuto which all leads to...what DOES it lead to? Total insanity THATS what! COMPLETE!
1. DUMB BLONDE JOKES!

**Author's note: **So I was half-awake and trying to think of dumb blonde jokes to use to severely tick off my friend when I thought about how mad someone could make Utau if they started telling her dumb blonde jokes. I don't own Shugo Chara or any of its characters and as a note to any blonde who is reading this…I'm sorry for making fun of your hair color. If that's the appropriate apology. I'm not quite sure….

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** Chapter One:**

** Utau and Kukai in….**

** DUMB BLONDE JOKES!!**

Utau wandered around town, daydreaming about Ikuto and the possible ways she could make him see her other than a sister when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

_Please let it be Ikuto, _the young singer pleaded silently and turned around to see…no one other than Kukai.

"What do you want," grumbled a very disappointed Utau. Kukai shrugged.

"Just thought I'd say hi," he said. "You look kinda down."

"Humph," was the only reply Kukai got, Utau's face flashing with irritation like a neon sign. Kukai suddenly grinned. Utau, being so used to the similar appearance in her brother's smirk, did not even wonder why Kukai suddenly look so amused.

"How about I tell you a joke," he offered smiling brilliantly.

"Fine," Utau muttered, hoping against hope that after a couple craptastic jokes, this annoy brat would get lost.

"What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?" Kukai asked. Utau was shocked into being momentarily paralyzed.

"_What?!" _she growled. Was this kid blind, stupid or just a plain out jerk? Probably the second, but seriously, who was suicidal enough to tell a BLONDE joke to an obviously dangerous BLONDE??

"Pregnant!" Kukai answered and doubled over in laughter. Passing people stared at the two. Completely ignoring the sputters that were Utau's attempt at a reply, the boy raised up a finger like he'd had an epiphany. "I got another!" he said happily.

"Don't you dare—" Utau started but Kukai cut her off.

"How do you get a blonde out of a tree?"

"I don't give a flying—"

"Wave at her!" Kukai answered himself, slapping his knee. "That's a real knee slapper!"

"Knee slap—wait!" for a moment, the knee slapper comment caught Utau off guard. She then decided that this child who was ridiculing her was indeed stupid when he ignored her livid face and began again.

"Why'd the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for two hours?"

"Shut the hell up!"

"Because it said 'concentrate'" Kukai laughed, as if Utau had said nothing. That little—

"Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?"

"I said—" Utau started angrily.

"Because they keep breaking them with hammers!" Kukai said laughing like he'd just said the funniest thing on Earth.

"You should stop before I kick you so hard in the damned—" Utau hissed before Kukai stopped her.

"No, no you gotta hear this one: what do you call a fly inside a blonde's head?"

"Um—wait! I'm not going to answer that because—"

"A Space Invader!"

"…"

Kukai cackled.

"See I knew these would cheer you up!" he said cheerfully. "How about another?"

"No way in hell."

"Good girl! I knew you'd love these." Kukai said ignoring her dark reply. "How did the blonde try to kill the bird?"

"Do you want to know how I'm going to kill you?"

"No. Anyway, she threw it off a cliff! Isn't that hilarious?"

Utau scowled and said absolutely nothing.

"OK,OK, just one more," Kukai said with a sigh, like it was the victim of his jokes who was pleading for him to tell her more...she was going to kill him for sure.

Utau's face showed nothing but pure fury.

"Try it and I swear to you I'll—"

"Did you hear about the blonde who tried to drive to Disneyland?"

"No—wait, no! I mean—wait"

"She saw a sign that said 'Disneyland left' and went back home!" Kukai snorted. "Get it? She thought Disneyland left when she was supposed to turn—whoa. You should really see your face right now!"

Utau narrowed her eyes. About damn time the kid noticed. Maybe he'd stop before she had to kill him. But noooooooooo.

"What do you call a pissed off blonde?"

"LUNATIC CHARM!!"

"No—aw crap."

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Heh heh. That was fun. I have the rest of today and this weekend to write more chapters to this fic…the next chapter won't have blonde jokes but Kukai will be telling more I promise you. Maybe next time it'll be Tadase…I dunno, it's kinda nice to picture Utau getting mad at blonde jokes. Anyway, next chapter is gonna have Ikuto and Nagihiko. Maybe Rima, too. Not sure. What else should I add in my end-of-chapter-ramble? Oh yeah! Ikuto and Amu say you should review!!


	2. She's Just Not That Into You

**Author's note: **And here it is, as promised the second chapter of **Because That Is How We Are**. And as promised, this also stars Nagihiko, Ikuto and Rima. Ready? Of course not! So here it is anyway.

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**Chapter Two:**

**Ikuto, Nagihiko, and Rima star in….**

**She's Just Not That Into You **

Ikuto sat under the tree in total peace. He was having a surprisingly good day. Maybe he could go tease Amu for something, just to top the day off. Yes, today was a very, very good day. Or at least it was until suddenly—

"I've been looking for you."

"Get lost kid. Go back to your kiddy king," Ikuto replied darkly.

"Tadase is being lame," Nagihiko snorted sitting himself down—uninvited as well, Ikuto grumbled mentally. "And he was making lovey eyes with Amu so I decided to—"

"He was what?" Ikuto interrupted. Nagihiko smiled a smile not quite unlike Ikuto's.

"Tadase and Amu were making lovey eyes at each other," Nagihiko repeated, a bit too innocently. "It was driving me crazy so I just left."

"…"

"Well, actually, I'm not quite sure if it was just Tadase shooting love vibes at Amu. I mean to say that she might not have been sending them back," Nagihiko replied slowly.

Ikuto's heartbeat sped up. Was it possible that she _didn't _like the kiddy king?

"It might've been Kukai," the long haired boy put in thoughtfully. Ikuto frowned.

"You weren't sure?" he asked, struggling to keep anything out of his voice.

"Yeah, I think Amu might have a thing for him," Nagihiko gossiped with the other whose cat ears and tail were now sticking out. At that comment, Ikuto's left ear twitched in irritation.

"You really think so?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. For some odd reason, Ikuto then pictured himself tossing the possible love rivals off a bridge. He shook his head to get the images out of his mind.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do think so," Nagihiko replied pointlessly.

"Nagihiko? The others are missing you at the meeting," a little girl's voice rang out. Nagihiko looked up, all mischief gone from his eyes.

"The love vibes coming from Kukai, Tadase and Amu were making me sick," Nagihiko replied. Something similar but not quite confusion flittered across Rima's usually impassive face before she nodded, still looking directly at Nagihiko. She switched her view to the blue haired cat-boy.

"The love in the air was getting quite thick," she said thoughtfully.

Ikuto swore quietly, but not quietly enough. Nagihiko and Rima shared a look that went completely unnoticed by Ikuto, who was too busy planning the murder of two specific boys.

"I can't see her liking _anyone else _than _Tadase," _Rima said forcefully.

"No, I think she likes someone else," Nagihiko said slowly. Ikuto shifted his head slightly to the side. He dearly wanted to ask who, but used at his self-restraint to stay silent.

"Who could that be?" Rima asked for Ikuto sweetly.

Ikuto listened closely.

"Kukai of course," Nagihiko snorted and Ikuto scowled.

He refused to lose to thus Kukai guy that Tadagay…wait…Tadagay? Ikuto smirked_. Nice nickname kiddy king,_ he thought. Now if only he could remember where he heard it….

Either way, he was gonna pummel those stupid munchkins until they—holy crap! Ikuto turned pale. He was starting to sound like Utau. Utau. She had some problem with Kukai right? The cat-boy shuddered when he remembered how his sister had stalked him and then badgered him about how some jerk-off had made a bunch of dumb blonde jokes then ran like hell. Little coward. Make that _smart _little coward.

Yes, Ikuto had indeed made Utau recite every dumb blonde joke and let him write them down. He patted his pocket and was satisfied to find they were in there. Now he could black-mail his sister into killing Kukai. Assuming he even needed to black-mail her. After all, Utau did have a habit of holding long grudges. And as for the kiddy king? Well, Ikuto wasn't quite sure, but he'd find a way to get him out of the way.

Without a word, Ikuto left the two younger kids.

When the cat was out of ear shot, Nagihiko cracked up.

"It worked!" he laughed. Rima smiled.

"You don't think he'll hurt them that bad do you?" she asked, worry slightly coloring the tone of her voice.

"Don't worry, Rima," Nagihiko said promptly. "Kukai and Tadase will be fine."

_Meanwhile…._

"Hey Utau!" Ikuto called to his sister who was positively fuming.

"Yes, Ikuto?" she asked sweetly, her mood changing in a matter of seconds.

Ikuto smirked, a dirty little grin dancing in his eyes.

"I think I have an idea for you to get back at the kid who was tossing dumb blonde jokes at you," the cat replied, almost singing he was so happy.

"I'll do anything for you!" Utau declared. Ikuto's smirk grew larger.

"here's the plan," he said and told his Utau his idea. Utau smiled brilliantly.

"I'm on it," she said and bounded off.

Poor little Ikuto was so happy he failed to notice that Yoru had found out the whole plan and was on his way to see Miki as soon as Utau was gone.

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What's Ikuto's genius idea? Ummm, well I don't really know yet. But with a couple reviews I might be able to find out…(hint hint).


	3. MORE DUMB BLONDE JOKES! AND A WEDDING?

**Author's note: **because I am bored and have yet to figure out Ikuto's evil plan, I decided to put in (drum roll please!!) MORE DUMB BLONDE JOKES! This time Tadase will be victim! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! I don't own Shugo Chara though… T.T

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**Chapter Three:**

**Tadase and Kukai star in………**

**MORE DUMB BLONDE JOKES!! AND A WEDDING?**

Tadase shut his eyes and counted to ten. Really, Kukai was going insane with his dumb blonde jokes!

"OK so I got another!" Kukai said wiping tears of laughter out of his eyes.

"Ahh, please Soma-kun, I don't really think—"

"In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old. A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"

"That's very funny, Soma-kun," Tadase said through gritted teeth.

"But there are even better ones Tadase!" Kukai exclaimed and continued. "Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?"

"Soma-kun…"

"From crawling across the street when the cross sign said 'do not walk'!"

"Er, Soma-kun, that's not very funny," Tadase said through gritted teeth.

"Of course it is!" Kukai said, slapping his blonde friend on the back.

"No not really."

"But it's not half as funny as Utau's face was when—" Kukai began laughing but stopped immediately when the doors were flung open and who should step in, but Utau!

"Oh crap," he whispered.

To say Utau was exerting extreme fury would be a severe understatement. (**A/N: just imagine the way she reacted when Ikuto made the comment about going to the amusement park with Amu in episode 29…scary, I know)**

"You got away from me once Soma, but you never will again," she screamed. Kukai turned pale and struggled to think of a way to escape this dangerous situation.

"C'mon Tadase let's—" he began but stopped when he saw that his best friend was inching away. "You gotta be kidding me!"

"Nope," Tadase replied and took off.

Kukai scowled at his friend's betrayal.

That meant there was only one thing left to do.

"Heeeeeeeeey Utau-chan!" Kukai called.

"Don't call me that," the blonde girl snapped.

"I gotta joke for you!" Kukai said.

"NO!" Utau screamed.

"On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet. The blonde asked, 'How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?' 'That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.' After pondering his answer, she asked, 'What happens if there's no one there I know?'" Kukai continued.

Utau sweat-dropped.

"I can't believe you keep making those jokes," she said darkly.

"Yeah, I can't either," Kukai muttered.

"Say what?"

"Nothing!!"

Utau sighed.

"Well then I should probably get back to killing you," she said, although Kukai could swear—but in his desperate need for a plan—he could hear regret in her voice.

His jaw dropped. No way…was it possible that Utau didn't want to kill him? Was it possible that she was here to confess her TRUE LOVE TO HIM??????

Yes, Kukai was very, very, _very _desperate for some way out. And as we all know, when in desperate times, desperate ideas frequently come to our minds.

"I know why you came," Kukai said in awe.

"Eh?"

Utau stared at the boy who was on his knees with a huge smile gracing his lips.

"YOU CAME HERE TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME DIDN'T YOU!!" Kukai cried joyfully and Utau attempted to take a step back.

"You can't be serious! I don't—" Utau all but screamed s she struggled to escape Kukai's embrace.

"Don't be shy Utau-koi! I feel the same way!"

"_Koi_?! He did not just…" Utau stared at the irrational child in amazement. Weren't there limits to how stupid someone could be?

"And at our wedding, I can be the entertainer!"

Utau came back into reality to comprehend Kukai planning their wedding.

"What wedding? Wait, our wedding? We aren't getting married!"

"Oh course we are! And I'll be there telling jokes!" Kukai explained. "Do you want to hear one?"

"Oh please no…" Utau gasped.

"What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Utau cried.

"The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own!" Kukai replied laughing. Utau kept glaring at Kukai till he stopped laughing. A twinkle appeared in his eyes and terror filled Utau.

"You know the saddest thing about us being together like this is that your brother will probably get reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaalllyy jealous," Kukai said in a sing-song voice.

The blonde singer smiled brilliantly.

"You think so?" she asked.

"Please my love, I _know_ so," Kukai assured her.

"I'll go search for a party planner!" Utau cried excitedly before running out the door, the whole wedding unfolding in her mind. Just before she could say "I do" Ikuto would come rushing through the door, sweep her off her feet and take Kukai's place!!

"Take _that _Hinamori Amu," Utau said gleefully.

As soon as Utau was out of eye and ear sight Kukai breathed a sigh.

"I can't believe that worked," he said. But Kukai underestimated the power of a girl who has her eyes set on a boy ( even if that boy is her blood brother) and failed to realized that by putting the idea that Utau could make Ikuto jealous by getting together with someone else…Kukai had put himself in a dangerous situation. A very, very dangerous situation.

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Wow. Alrighty then…the story kinda look a mind of it's own after the third dumb blonde joke. Stupid Kukai…. Remember: a review a day keeps a pissed off Utau away! This is why you should press that little button and write up a couple words for me. Heh heh.


	4. A Plan About Another Plan

**Author's note: **I was desperately thinking about what to do for this chapter when I realized I haven't done much of the charas or Amu. I felt very bad—OK so not really but they don't need to know that—so this chapter is for them =) BTW, isn't the chapter name so creative? And there is a note from Miki. It says…

_YOU STUPID-HEAD!! YOU PROBABLY FORGET TO TELL THEM THAT YOU DON'T OWN SHUGO CHARA BECAUSE IF YOU DID IKUTO AND AMU WOULD ALREADY BE TOGETHER, TADASE WOULD HAVE BEEN PROVEN GAY, AND I WOULD BE MARRIED TO YORU—WAIT WHAT?_

Yes Miki is right. I don't own Shugo Chara because if I did well…read the note above.

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**Chapter Four:**

**Amu and some charas star in……**

**A Plan About Another Plan**

"I can't believe they would do something like that!" Amu exploded. "I'm going to kill Nagihiko and Rima for saying that! Then I'm going to kill Ikuto for believing them!"

"Are you saying that you don't love Tadase or Kukai?" Miki hinted with a sideways glance at her sisters and Yoru.

Amu blushed a shade of red that had yet to be named.

"I never said anything like that!" she said, struggling to keep her composure—and completely failing by turning such a deep red she could pose as a tomatoe.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight," Miki said sarcastically and Yoru snickered.

"Why you little traitor," Amu growled.

"But what are we going to do, Amu-chan?" Ran squealed. Amu's face wrinkled up in confusion.

"I hear Utau telling Ikuto that if you scrunch up your face like that you get wrinkles faster, nya," Yoru told Amu.

"WHAT??" Amu shrieked and all the charas laughed.

"But I'm serious, nya," Yoru added and everyone except for the cat chara sweat dropped.

All was quiet until Suu came back with a platter of peanut butter cookies and a little strip of catnip.

"So what _are _we going to do?" asked Miki slowly.

"Weh cuod teg yeowu iz e huztegh!" Ran suggested through a mouthful of peanut butter cookie.

"Don't talk with your mouth full desu," Suu scolded her sister.

"What did you even say, Ran?" Amu asked.

"We could take Yoru as a hostage," Ran repeated.

"NO!!" Miki and Yoru both shouted at the same time, one in defense and in other in utmost terror. They all knew how painfully serious and persuasive Ran could be at times.

Everyone blinked. Once. Twice. Three times and…

"I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LOVED YORU _THAT MUCH_," Ran all but squealed.

"Um," Miki replied vaguely. Amu rolled her eyes. As adorable as this was, there were more pressing matters at hand.

"Can we please get back to how we're going to save Ikuto?" Amu asked.

All the charas shared a glance.

"So you don't care if Tadase dies in the process?" Ran asked slyly.

"Of course I do!" Amu insisted. "It's just that I'd feel bad forever if Ikuto's plan actually works."

"And knowing Ikuto, it probably will, nya," Yoru added darkly.

"You aren't helping," Miki whispered.

Amu sighed. They were getting absolutely no where. Seriously, how hard it is to think of a plan about another plan? Well, since it was Ikuto who came up with the plan they were trying to plan about…wait what? Amu grabbed her head and groaned. This was way too much.

Mistaking her headache caused by irritation for a sign of one who is concerned about their loved one in emotional pain, Suu patted Amu on the back.

"Ikuto will be okay, desu," she said. Amu scowled.

"Whatever," she grumbled. Then an idea sparked in her mind. And then faded in a matter of seconds, inclining that it couldn't have really been a good plan after all. This happened several times before Amu decided to just give it up and that they should just play it by ear.

"Do you have a plan, nya?" Yoru asked hopefully.

"Kinda," Amu said.

"Tell us!" all four charas shouted.

"We find Ikuto and tell him to stop and tell him I wasn't even at the meeting and he is free to kill Nagihiko and Rima," Amu said proudly.

"That's very—" Suu said uncertainly.

"I don't know if—" Miki put in.

"Do you think we can find another—" Ran started.

"Your plan is horrible, nya," Yoru said as he took a bite out of another cookie. Amu's soul slowly started leaving her body.

"AMU'S SOUL!" her charas shrieked and Yoru snickered as they shook the house trying to help their pink-haired friend.

Yoru scratched the back of his head.

"Do you think we should go save Ikuto now…or at least try nya?" he asked. On cue Amu's soul popped straight back into her body and she jumped up.

"Let's go save that pervert!" she cried and marched out the door, charas following behind her, questioning her sanity.

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I actually have Ikuto's master plan figured out! That's why this chapter is so short and you'll see it in the next chapter and I'm totally excited that I had to cut this one off so I could update the next and…and then I'll have to figure out a solution -.-…this is going to be fun…and while I'm working you could always ya know, drop a review.


	5. A CHEESY CHAPTER WHERE NOBODY GETS MAD

**Me: **OMG IT'S THE MOMENT YOU'VE AAAALLLLL BEEN RIPPING YOUR HAIR OUT WAITING FOR (UNLESS YOU'RE A SKINHEAD)…IKUTO'S PLAN!! I was so excited that i actually managed to come up with this while eating my sandwich I couldn't wait to put it up!! But I do have a couple of warnings...everyone in this chapter is going to be breaking the line of OC. Also, this chapter contains mulitple confessions of love in the craziest, cheesiest ways I could think of. Now take it away with the disclaimer someone!

**Ikuto: ***reads plan* No way in hell am I doing that

**Me: **Wanna bet?

**Ikuto: **Yes

**Me: **You totally own Tadase in the end and get Amu

**Amu: **NO!

**Ikuto: **Well THAT changes everything!

**Me: **So I take that as a 'yes'

**Amu: ***pulls out a knife* You guys are going down

**Me: **Someone do the disclaimer!! *runs away*

**Kukai: **Hana-chan doesn't own Shugo Chara…but do you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?

**Utau: **Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuukkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiii!!!

**Kukai: **Awww crap

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**Chapter Five**

**Almost Everybody stars in….**

**A CHEESEY CHAPTER WHERE NOBODY GETS MAD**

Ikuto struggled to keep the small sized crown on his head while he dragged a skateboard he'd got for cheap at a garage sale on his way to Amu's house. He had found the kiddy king and told him to come to Amu's house. Ikuto's genius plan went like this

1. Set Utau on Kukai. Not only would this get Kukai out of the way, but Utau might also get the hell off of his back =0

2. Buy a crown like the kiddy king's and something sporty -.-

3. Challenge the kiddy king to come to Amu's house

4. Show Amu that he could be Kukai, himself, and Tadagay all at he same time ;)

5. Win Amu's heart :3

6. Laugh at the kiddy king during Ikuto and Amu's wedding (MWA HA HA HA)

Although step six may have to come a lot later in life, it was better than waiting and letting someone else get his strawberry.

When Ikuto reached Amu's house Tadase was already there. Well it was the kiddy king who was multitasking now was it? Was it?

But wait…oh Snapple sticks!

The kiddy king was wearing a set of cat ears and a cat tail!

"What are you supposed to be Tadase?" Ikuto asked curiously.

"You," Tadase replied casually.

"You don't look anything like me!" Ikuto said absolutely horrified. Did he actually look like that…?

"Well what are you supposed to be?" Tadase growled back in a pathetic attempt to change the subject.

And as pathetic as the attempt was, it worked.

"I'm going to show Amu that I can be you, your clown friend and myself all at the same time," he said smugly.

Tadase blinked.

"I see," he said. Ikuto mustered up his courage to do possibly the most humiliating thing imaginable: act like the kiddy king. Ikuto straightened his crown and took a deep breath.

"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL OVER AMU! MWA HA HA HA!"

Nagihiko, Rima, and Yaya watched this show from a nearby tree and covered their mouths to stifle their laughter.

"We're too late Amu-chan!" Ran's high-pitched voice cried in defeat.

"Ikuto, what've you done nya!" Yoru half-sobbed when he saw what a low level his owner had sunk to.

"Amu! Amu you gotta help me! Utau's gone insane!" Kukai yelled as he came running up the street.

Amu stood outside of her house, wondering when the neon pink elephants in tutus were going to come around the block dancing. That was the only thing this party of insanity was missing, after all.

"Ikuto why are you dressed—Tadase why are you wearing—what are _you three _doing in a—wait what's wrong with Utau?" Amu struggled to asked a million questions at once. Unfortunately, Amu isn't the brilliant multitasking maniac that Ikuto is so she failed miserably.

"Utau is trying to get me to marry her!"

"I'm proving that I can be three people at the same time."

"You seem to have a cat fetish…"

"Who the hell would pass this show up?"

That was the day Amu learned that four answers at the same time is pretty much the same as no answers at all.

"Ikuto, why are you trying to be three people at the same time?" Amu asked incredulously.

"Remember what Rima and Nagihiko said to him?" Miki reminded her.

"Oh yeah!" Amu said.

"So that's why," Ikuto said with a smirk. Did he honestly not realize how sad he looked? Or maybe he didn't care? Maybe he loved Amu so much that he was willing to look like a total dumb piece of cat crap to impress her. If that was the case….Tears of something foreign started trickling down Amu's cheeks. Tadase and Ikuto's eyes both grew in alarm.

"Wh-why're you crying?" asked Ikuto worriedly.

"She saw your face up close for the first time," Tadase said.

"Either that or she realized that you're gay for that long-haired purple guy," Ikuto put in.

"Purple…haired…?"

"Nagihiko," Amu corrected.

"You should know that I like Rima, not Tadase," Nagihiko cried in protest after jumping out of the tree.

"You…do?" Tadase sniffled, his heart slowly breaking in two because Ikuto was right: Tadase was secretly in love with Nagihiko.

"You do?" Rima asked in shock.

"Man and I thought my confession was pathetic," Kukai snorted.

"You confessed?" Amu asked surprised.

Kukai walked over to Amu and bent down lower so he could whisper in her ear.

"She was gonna kill me and I somehow ended up with her agreeing to marry me!" he hissed.

"Why would you do that?" Amu hissed back.

"Because she was gonna kill me damn it!"

"How'd you get her to agree?"

"I told her it'd make Ikuto jealous," Kukai said with a shrug and Amu fake-coughed to hide her hysterical laughter.

"What's so funny, Kukai-koi?" Utau purred.

"Nothing, nothing," Kukai said, shaking he was so scared.

Small tears began dropping from Utau's eyes.

"First Ikuto now you!" she sobbed. "Why is it that every guy who I start to love ditches me for Hinamori Amu?"

"You really love me?" Kukai asked.

"Of course I do!" Utau sniffled and everyone watched in amazement when Kukai took the crying girl in his arms.

"I love you, too, Utau," he whispered. **(A/N corny love moment with a really weird couple!)**

All the charas swarmed together and made a disfigured heart around the happy couple.

"Wait, so if Kukai loves my sister and Tadase is gay…then why am I wearing this stupid crown?" Ikuto demanded.

"Because that author told you to," a voice from the sky called. And it wasn't just any voice. It was...the author's voice!!

"…"

"But you can take it off now," the voice added. "Your plan kinda worked."

"So Amu is in love with me?" Ikuto asked the sky.

"Don't ask me dip shit," the voice said darkly. Everyone sweat dropped.

"I'll love you forever, Ikuto…especially if you take off that outfit," Amu said.

"HELL YES!!"

"I guess there really is someone for everyone," Amu said softly.

"Except for Yaya!" Yaya cried.

"Yo Hinamori Amu! Yo left me for some other dawg!" Kairi said miserably as he appeared out of no where wearing baggy pants and a shirt with a silver necklace.

"What happened to you?" Yaya asked.

Kairi shrugged.

"I tried to pimp myself out," he said in his normal voice putting his glasses back on.

"Yaya sees," Yaya chirped. "Yaya now has a true love!" she added.

"What?" Kairi asked.

"No," Tadase growled. "He's mine!"

Because naturally, Tadase has to be the love rival of someone. And so the battle for the unwilling heart of Sanjou Kairi began.

**………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………......................................................................................**

OK, I've written some weird stuff before but that tops it off for sure.

**Amu: **No kidding

**Me: **I refuse to change it though

**Ikuto: **Are there gonna be anymore chapters that might make the rating go up *hint hint*

**Amu: **SHUT UP YOU PERVERT!

**Me: **No I think Amu suffered enough for one fic. But there will be one more chapter _maybe _two.

**Ikuto: **Fine then I'm leaving now

**Utau: **review so the next chapter will come up faster! It's—

**Kukai: ***covers Utau's mouth* Don't tell anyone Utau!

**Utau: **whatever you say….

**Me: **You guys should still review though


	6. Because That Is How We Are

**Me: **This is the last chapter and so I would like to make my thanks yous. First, thanks to the people who have reviewed and the people who will review. Secondly, I would like to thank my friend Jeri who was crashing at my house when I wrote this story. Almost everything of the things that happened in this story was inspired by her. So—

**Ikuto: **Shut up and get on with the story, would you?

**Me: -**sniffles, shuffles away and cries in the corner-

**Amu: **Nice one you jerk! Look what you did to poor Hana-chan!!

**Ikuto: **No one bothers to read the thanks you notes anyway!

**Amu: **True

**Me: **I feel so abandoned….

**Kukai: **Awesome! I get to do the disclaimer again! Hana-chan does not own Shugo Chara…or us.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Six**

**All the necessary people star in…**

**Because That Is How We Are**

_Ten Years Later…_

It was a beautiful, highly anticipated day: the day of Utau and Kukai's wedding. On Utau's request, the party was limited and American style (the blonde had decided this when she visited America on a tour and saw a wedding) Well, at least it had started out beautiful. The cake was tremendous, three layers, pure white with light purple icing and decorated with sugar roses. The decorations were extreme and of course the weather was perfect. But alas, even the most beautiful of things cannot last forever, be damned whether it is a day of eternal bonding on not!

As usual, it was Kukai who ruined it all by deciding it was time for entertainment when everyone had settled down and he and Utau were officially married.

"Hey, Rima," he whispered so his wife couldn't hear.

"Hm?" the little blonde girl asked as she fed her fiancée Nagihiko.

"What do a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?"

"KUKAI!" everyone except for Rima (who gently wiped her mouth with her napkin) shouted.

"They're both empty from the neck up!" Kukai laughed.

Maybe the list of wedding guests should be explained first:

_Amu and Ikuto were there (after all, Utau had come to their wedding and no matter how many times Ikuto begged, Amu forced him to come); _

_the Nikaido family (yup, the ex's got together again and married) had come, complete with three hellish children; _

_Kairi was present, a box of tissues in hand, so naturally, Yaya and Tadase were there, glowering at each other. _

_Nagihiko and Rima had come, obviously since Rima was…ah…well, those are really the only people who are worth knowing about._

"Very funny Soma," Rima said.

"It's 'bout time someone agreed with me," Kukai said grinning.

"But it's not half as funny as this," Rima said before she, delicate, fragile, so innocent looking young woman she was, jumped up on the table and kicked the cake of ultimate perfection into Kukai's face. He spluttered and everyone's jaws dropped.

"You messed up my cake!" Utau screamed and so began the food fight that everyone would always remember.

It's truly amazing how in matter of seconds, a beautiful wedding with mature adults can turn into a place that looked like all hell had broken loose. Nagihiko was throwing pudding at Amu and Ikuto had accessorized a small salad on his shirt—complete with dressing—and Utau's beautiful cake was splattered all over the hall. I'm sure that you can all imagine Utau's expression.

The fight went on for quite a while—no one was exactly "in it" enough to keep track of the time. The thing that made it memorable, however, was the expression on Ikuto's face when his younger sister grabbed a fistful of lemon pie and threw it at his face. **(A/N inspired by when my muse who took my mom's lemon pie and threw a piece at her ex-boyfriend/my neighbor's face. I swear it really happened and it was the funniest thing I have ever seen. He's a jerk though so he deserved it).**

It continued on until the priest—who Utau had brought from America and was the only one she could find who could speak a little bit of Japanese—walked over to the new couple to give his congrats. Aiming for Tadase and completely missing, Kukai's shot went straight to the holy man's face.

"Um, whoops?" Kukai said, chuckling weakly.

"Be banished evil demon from the pits of Hell!" the priest roared in English. Everyone exchanged glances. They had no clue this man was talking about whatsoever.

"Excuse me?" Utau asked slowly.

"BE GONE CURSED DEMONS! MAY THE DEVIL TAKE YOU BACK TO HELL WHERE YOU ALL BELONG!" the priest continued. The rambling priest slowly made his way back to the chapel to prepare his departure home.

"What the hell was that about?" Ikuto asked bluntly.

"I have no idea," Kukai responded, shaking his head sadly.

"Yaya wants to do this when she gets married to Kairi-koi!" Yaya squealed.

"SANJOU-KOI IS MINE!!" Tadase yelled.

"I'm not getting married to anyone!" Kairi all but sobbed.

"This is definitely the most disturbing wedding I have ever been to," Ikuto said blankly.

"No shitting," Nagihiko snorted.

"This is the weirdest wedding I have ever had," Kukai noted.

"YOU'VE HAD ANOTHER WEDDING?" Utau demanded.

"N-No! I was just saying—"

"I can't believe you would completely betray me like this!" Utau began and the after-holy matrimony insanity began (you know, where the husband learns the many joys of having a wife XD).

"Why does it always end like this?" Amu sighed.

"Because that is how we are," Nagihiko, Rima, Ikuto, Tadase, Kairi and Yaya all replied at the same time.

"I think we all need a shrink," Amu groaned.

"I hope she's blonde," Kukai said.

Everyone looked at him with weird expressions.

"Why?" Kairi asked.

"So I can tell her dumb blonde jokes!" Kukai declared.

"We won't ever change," Rima said smirking.

"Why the hell would we want to?" Nagihiko asked.

"We wouldn't," Amu replied.

Because that really is how they are.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Me: **I know this chapter took forever but I have a really, really, really, good excuse this time!

**Ikuto: **You're useless, pathetic and lazy?

**Me: **No that's you my friend.

**Ikuto: **At least I'm irresistibly sexy so I got the body to make up for it. Just ask my million fan girls :3

**Me: **…

**Amu: **-totally jealous!!- ...must…kill…Ikuto fan girls!

**Rima: **What was you're brilliant excuse Hana-chan?

**Me: **What? Oh yeah! My muse (mentioned before) left and I totally couldn't think. So that's why this chapter is really sucky.

**Ikuto: **No kidding.

**Me: **-goes and cries in a corner-

**Everyone Else: **Not again…

**A Voice From The Sky: **REMEMBER TO REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!!

**Ikuto:** Wait...is that the same voice that called me a dipshit?


End file.
